AN OPEN LETTER TO THE DEPRESSED CHRISTIAN AT CHRISTMAS
by David Murray
Dear Friend,
Depression is tough at the best of times. Perhaps it’s the best of times, such as holiday times, when it’s especially tough. The thought of mixing with happy people fills you with dread. The thought of remembering lost loved ones fills you with gloom. How can people be so happy when you are so sad? How can people celebrate when you are in mourning? It jars your soul and scrapes your tender wounds, doesn’t it?
You may want to run away and hide from the noisy busyness and the social obligations. Or you may want to lash out at the insensitive and uncaring people who exhort you to “Cheer up!” Or maybe you just want to drown your sorrows with binge drinking, binge eating, or binge TV-watching. But none of these options—running out, lashing out, or pigging out—will improve your depression. Indeed, they will only make it worse.
Let me propose a better way that will enable you to carefully navigate this holiday season while also contributing to your long-term healing.
PRAY
I know prayer is perhaps too obvious, but sometimes we miss the obvious. Bring your burden to the Lord, tell him your fears and dreads, and seek his help to push through these daunting days. Lament by saying “Lord, I don’t want to give thanks, I don’t want to celebrate Christmas, and I don’t want to live through another year.” Admit, saying: “God, I can’t stand happiness right now and I can’t abide people.” Confess: “This is wrong and sinful, but I can’t seem to change.” Plead: “Lord, I am weak, I need your power, I need your patience, I need your joy.” Promise: “I will rely on you alone to carry me and even use this time for my help and healing.”
It’s amazing how the gospel can turn the greatest pain into the greatest therapy.
Not everyone among your family and friends understands depression; but some do, as you know. Give them a call, or, better, meet with them, and talk to them about what you dread during this season. Ask them to pray for you and to support you in the coming days. Ask them to stay by your side in social settings, to protect you from those who don’t understand, to accept your silences, and to help you withdraw quietly when you have reached your limits of socializing.
PLAN
While it’s not wise to totally withdraw from social life during the holidays, neither is it wise to force yourself to go to every social gathering. Total withdrawal will only depress you further; but so will total immersion. You just don’t have the emotional and mental fuel for it. So, plan ahead and choose wisely which social occasions you will go to and how long to spend there. Perhaps try to avoid going to too many gatherings on consecutive days or evenings. You need downtime to be quiet and to refuel. Perhaps you can plan to attend a gathering but not stay from the beginning to the end. That’s more inviting in prospect and more beneficial in retrospect. The aim is to pace yourself and make sure you are getting sufficient time to rebuild your energy levels.
ROUTINE
Regular routine is vital for those with depression. Your body, mind, and soul flourish when you are following a predictable pattern of sleeping, eating, working, and relaxing. All this is threatened by the irregularity and unpredictability of the holidays. You will have to accept a degree of change in this area in these weeks, yet still fight to maintain as much regularity as you can. You don’t want to waste all your good work in this area.
EXERCISE
Keep up a fitness regime. I know from personal experience how hard it is to be consistent in this area over the holidays. There’s so much sitting around, and so, so much food. But it’s so important for your physical, mental, and spiritual health to maintain your discipline here. If my experience is anything to go by, you won’t keep it perfectly. But do what you can. Even if you can’t get to the gym, try to get outside and walk in the daylight for 20-30 minutes a day.
PREACH TO YOURSELF
You have an internal narrative, the story that you are telling yourself. You’ve done a great job of rewriting that story over the past few months. The dark chapters that were so full of what you lost with these painful family bereavements have now given way to many bright paragraphs of how much your loved one has gained in heaven and of your hope of eventual and eternal reunion. You’ve also managed by God’s grace to expand that part of the story which focuses on how much you still have in your life. Keep writing these chapters in your mind and heart—the longer the better.
Now, you’re going to be tempted in the next few weeks to write a chapter that dwells on the present estrangement with your daughter and how much you miss her at family occasions. While we can’t deny the reality of this, and we continue to pray and work toward reconciliation, can I suggest that you write another chapter in parallel with it? Write a chapter on the way God has reconciled you to his Son through his death on the cross (Eph. 2:14–18; 2 Cor. 5:18–21). Fixing your mind on this greatest estrangement and reconciliation story will help you to balance a bitter experience with the sweetest experience, and will also give you hope in God’s reconciling power. It’s amazing how the gospel can turn the greatest pain into the greatest therapy.
You can also preach to yourself by singing the Gospel to yourself. Remember how much you enjoyed Handel’s “Messiah” last year? Why don’t we go again? Attend your church’s Christmas Eve and Christmas Day services. Sing these Gospel-rich songs and make melody in your heart to the Lord (Eph. 5:19).
PREACH TO OTHERS
I don’t want to lay a heavy burden on you here, but why not look for and take opportunities to witness to others? The unbelievers in your family will be looking to see how you react to your recent losses and how you are responding to your depression. They will see you are sad and they will ask how you are doing. How about this for an answer: “Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Cor. 6:10). That should startle them! But it will also start some profitable conversations that give you an opportunity to testify to God’s grace to you in these days. Sometimes, ministering to others is the best way to minister to yourself.
Sincerely,
David
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“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” which means, God with us."
—Matthew 1:23
“IMMANUEL, GOD WITH US.”
"It is hell’s terror. Satan trembles at the sound of it. Let him come to you suddenly, and do you but whisper that word, “God with us,” back he falls, confounded and confused. “God with us” is the laborer’s strength. How could he preach the gospel, how could he bend his knees in prayer, how could the missionary go into foreign lands, how could the martyr stand at the stake, how could the confessor own his Master, how could men labor if that one word were taken away? “God with us” is eternity’s sonnet, heaven’s hallelujah, the shout of the glorified, the song of the redeemed, the chorus of the angels, the everlasting oratorio of the great orchestra of the sky."
—CH Spurgeon
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CHRISTMAS FEAST
"FEAST, Christians, feast; you have a right to feast. But in your feasting, think of the Man in Bethlehem. Let Him have a place in your hearts, give Him the glory, think of the virgin who conceived Him, but think most of all of the Man born, the Child given. I finish by again saying, A happy Christmas to you all!"
—CH Spurgeon
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“Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!" ~Luke 2:8-14
The night Jesus was born, shepherds received this amazing greeting from an angel: “I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior who is the Messiah, the Lord” (Luke 2:11). The long-awaited Messiah has arrived. The shepherds were among the first to witness the wonderful counselor, mighty God, Prince of peace (Isaiah 9:7), and they hurried off to “see this thing that has taken place” (Luke 2:15). The shepherds were transformed by what they saw, and they returned “glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen” (Luke 2:20).
We pray as you celebrate the birth of Jesus that you trust in Him as your Lord & Savior. May the amazingly good news of Christ’s coming to save His people from their sins break into your heart in a life transforming way. As the shepherds were transformed by what they heard and saw and went back to their work in the fields glorifying and praising God, so we pray that each of us will be transformed by the good news of Christ’s birth and that we too, like the shepherds, will be so overwhelmed by what we have seen and heard that we will be compelled to share this good news with others. How ineffable that Almighty God took upon Himself human nature and came in the form and likeness of humanity in the person of Jesus Christ to save His people from their sins. Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Praying the Lord blesses you with a very Merry Christmas!
In Christ’s love,
Pastor S. & Maria
“For, first, the birth of Christ was the incarnation of God: it was God taking upon himself human—a mystery, a wondrous mystery, to be believed in rather than to be defined.”
—CH Spurgeon
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JESUS SAVES HIS PEOPLE!
“And you shall call His name JESUS, for He will save His people from their sins.”
—Matthew 1:21
JESUS MEANS "Jehovah is salvation" and that’s why Joseph must call Him Jesus— He is the One who shall save His people from their sins. “Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12). And we all need to be saved because we are all sinners; every one of us! The Apostle Paul declares in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Sometimes people deceive themselves into thinking they are pretty good, but the Bible is clear: “There is none righteous, no not even one; there’s none who understands, none who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is none who does good, not even one” (Romans 3:10-12). But how often do you think about your many sins? How often do you humble yourself in repentance before God?
NOW WHAT IS SIN? According to 1 John 3:4, sin is lawlessness. Sin is rebellion against God’s law, which produces disastrous results. Because of sin our natural inclination is to think evil, speak evil and do evil. Because of sin lives are ruined, families are wrecked, children are abused, babies are aborted, women are raped, people are murdered, lies are told, alcohol is abused, men and women fornicate and commit adultery, etc. But these are only consequences in this present life. Far more devastating are the eternal consequences of our sin. You need to realize that your sin makes God extremely angry and His wrath is kindled against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men (Romans 1:18). You need to realize that the wages of our sin is eternal death in the everlasting flames of the lake of fire (Romans 6:23; Matthew 25:41).
BUT THE GOOD NEWS of the Gospel is found in Matthew 1:21, “The angel said to Joseph: You are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." The angel clearly tells us the reason for the birth of Jesus Christ; “He will save His people from their sins.” The Greek text has the pronoun at the beginning of the clause for emphasis; “He (and no other) will save His people from their sins.” In other words, Christ alone! Has this truth shaken loose every excuse and idolatrous reliance in your life? Everyday people try to add something to what Christ has done for the salvation of sinners, but to no avail.
SO, WHAT’S the implication declared by the angel? There is salvation from the penalty of our sins through Jesus Christ. “He will save His people from their sins.” Christ’s death on the cross has paid the penalty for the sins of all who trust in Him. John reminds us, “And you know that He was manifested to take away our sins” (I John 3:5). And we read in Hebrews 9:26 that “He (Christ) has been manifested to put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself.” And Matthew says, “He will save His people from their sins.” This tells us of the definite, securely accomplished work of Christ! It tells us that the death of Jesus Christ did not have mere potential to save but declares the assurance that His death actually saves from sin all those who believe in Him. This means we do not look to the Church to save us. We do not look to our water baptism to save us! We do not look to the Lord’s Supper to save us! We do not look to what we can do to save us! To do any of these things would make us an idolater, as the Heidelberg Catechism Q&A 95 reads, “What is idolatry? Idolatry is to conceive or have something else in which to place our trust instead of, or besides, the one true God who has revealed Himself in His Word.” The only One who can save us from our sins is Jesus Christ! How glorious is the birth of Jesus Christ! For He was born to save His people from their sins! Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved!! AMEN!!
Christmas Day Devotional: December 25, 2024
In Christ,
Pastor S. Henry
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THE GOOD NEWS OF CHRIST’S BIRTH
LAST WEEK we learned from our text in Matthew 1:18-25 that the humanity of Jesus was derived from His mother Mary. The Scripture teaches that “Christ partook of the flesh and blood of the children; that He is a fruit of the loins of David after the flesh; born of the seed of David according to the flesh; a fruit of the womb of Mary; born of a woman; a branch of David; a shoot of the root of Jesse; sprung from the tribe of Judah; descended from the Jews according to the flesh; of the seed of Abraham, since he took on him the seed of Abraham, and was made like unto his brethren in all things, sin excepted; so that in truth He is our IMMANUEL, that is to say, God with us.”
BUT JOSEPH struggled with Mary’s pregnancy. We read in vs. 19 that he was going to put her away. He must have thought, “Here I am betrothed to this woman and she is carrying another man’s child.” But we are also told in verse 19 that Joseph was a righteous and kind man, and because of this he was determined to put Mary away privately. Joseph cares about marriage. He loved the law of God, and he knew that the marriage bed is to be kept undefiled and holy. And though he loved Mary, he determined because of his love of God, and His law, that he will not unite in an estate of adultery with this woman. And so, he was determined to divorce her.
BUT AT THE same time, Joseph has great love for Mary. This is demonstrated by the fact that he doesn’t take the full recourses of the law that he could have. You see, in the Old Testament, a woman who was betrothed to a man that was found in adultery could have been stoned to death or publicly disgraced and expelled from the community. But Joseph is determined to do this quietly and not to shame her publicly or call for the death penalty.
HOWEVER, IN VERSES 20 & 21, the angel of the Lord comes to Joseph in a dream, and he says, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name JESUS, for He will save His people from their sins." Notice that the angel addresses him as the Son of David. Joseph was a humble carpenter. He was not some great merchant. And yet the angel says, Joseph, remember who you are –you are the son of David, which means he was in David’s lineage. Joseph may not have been impressive in the eyes of the world, yet to God he was a son of David, a son of the man after God’s own heart.
AND SO, God’s message to Joseph was, “you take Mary as your wife. And you name that boy, Jesus." We are told in verse 24 that Joseph awoke, and he did as the Lord commanded. Joseph believed the Word of the Lord and therefore he was obedient. What a great example of the ability to trust God despite all the outward evidence to the contrary. Joseph’s heart is broken but by faith he obeys the messenger of the Lord and takes Mary as his wife. Do we do the same thing? When your world seems to be falling all around you do you believe the promises of God in Scripture? A mark of a true Christian is faith in God’s Word, trusting what He says, following and living according to His counsel no matter what your circumstances may be! Joseph gives us an excellent example of true faith in action even when all outward circumstances would tell him otherwise. You see, we can only believe what God says when we have true faith. People without saving faith in Jesus Christ do not believe God’s Word. Do you believe? Do you trust God when everything around you seems to be coming apart? Joseph did and so must you and I.
Tuesday Encouragement: December 24, 2024
In Christ,
Pastor S. Henry
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