HOW MUCH DO YOU SEE?
By John Perritt
I was at the gym the other day and was struck with a thought that often comes to mind while I’m exercising. That thought? Porn is everywhere.
If your gym is like mine, there are screens all over the place. While some of the screens are tuned into ESPN (just to ensure the stereotype of meatheads slinging weights continues) the other screens contain music videos. More often than not, if I’m being honest, those videos are soft-core pornography. Let’s keep in mind, soft-core porn is still full-core lust.
Not only are the screens tuned into lust-filled images, some of the people exercising are wearing attire that leaves little to the imagination. It’s not too much of a stretch to say that part of the reason people are in the gym is because of the ‘pornification’1 of our culture.
Some of them show up because of these lusts in their hearts, and some of them show up because they feel the pressure to look like some of the people in those videos. Sure, some also show up because they don’t want to die of heart disease – the reasons are plentiful and mixed.
Even though some may disagree with labeling music videos pornography, Paul David Tripp gives us some perspective on this desensitization:
I’m deeply persuaded that when it comes to sex…we’ve gone culturally insane. The level of functional delusion, of self-deception and self-destruction that accompanies the way we approach [this area] is simply crazy…I sat in a nice restaurant and was forced to listen to graphic descriptions of sexual “love” that was supposed to be mealtime background music.”2
Notice how Tripp even highlights the sexual lyrics of a song and how they feed the lusts of our heart. As he says, “We’ve gone insane.” Pornography is such a powerful industry that it permeates most of our culture. Even though we may not watch something labeled “porn”, think of the ways our movies are “porn adjacent”. I’ve talked about this in a discussion on lust and nudity in movies, but this is another call for us to see the wickedness of porn and how it shapes the movies we watch.
The Porn-Saturated World We Inhabit
You may have heard that The New York Times recently published an article about pornography. Since then, The Gospel Coalition, among others, have had some strong calls to action against the porn industry. Therefore, I thought I would attempt to play some small part in sounding the alarm.
If you don’t feel as concerned over this issues, I urge you to read the Times article and see if you still feel the same. Understandably, the content of the article is graphic, so there are portions I had to skip because it turned my stomach.
I’ve served in some form of student ministry since 2001, so I have discussed, taught, researched, and counseled students and parents on this topic more times than I can count. I think one of the devil’s tactics is to make us less vigilant in this fight by making us grow tired of hearing how evil it is. He seeks to wear us down in order to perpetuate this wickedness.
I’ve talked to men and women who struggle with this sin. Personally, I know men who were enslaved by this – truly addicted. Sadly, the realities of this evil have been seen through the lives of pastors that have succumbed to these temptations.
In the denomination I’m associated with, there’s a detailed interview process pastors must go through for ordination. A friend of mine, who served on a committee that interviews these would-be pastors, once told me that almost all of them admitted to struggles with pornography. These are men who will be leading entire churches and almost every one has struggled or is struggling with looking at porn. That’s alarming.
I’m not saying that pastors should be disqualified for this struggle or that they should feel afraid to confess this. What I am saying is that maybe they should be seeking some real help, real counsel, real therapy before they begin shepherding, preaching, leading an entire congregation.
If this sounds graceless, I simply ask you to consider the two recent churches in my area who had pastors that are now in prison with issues related to this. Had these pastors been seeking help and accountability, maybe these congregations, not to mention their own families, would have been spared from the trauma and sorrow they’re going through.
What Are You Watching with Your Kids?
It’s sobering to think of how we prepare our children for life in a world consumed by pornography. How do I prepare my three daughters to date men that have (most likely) struggled in this area? How much grace should they show these men and at what point does it become dangerous to date men that have longterm addictions in this area? The same goes for my sons dating women who struggle with this.
In many ways, all of this seems like a losing battle and there’s no point in trying anymore. At the same time, the Bible gives clear warning on sexual immorality – lust being one area – and how we should flee this.
With this in mind, how are you encouraging your children in this area through the movies they watch? What are they being desensitized to? What is becoming normal that should be appalling?
A related area to all of this is social media. Personally, I’ve been off of social media for years, but I created an X account when I started this newsletter. In a matter of hours, I had numerous followers that were clearly porn accounts with new ones added each day. Simply scrolling through X, I was bombarded by porn and porn related material. I’ve now deactivated the account and don’t check it anymore.
Wives, if your husbands have an X account, I can almost promise you that they are looking at porn. If not intentionally, accidentally. It doesn’t matter how diligent they are, they will see lustful content. As mentioned, I know that this is a struggle for women as well and I’ve actually spoken to women who’ve shared this struggle with me. That said, I’m a man so I’m speaking on this as a man.
It Seems So Helpless
The issue of pornography just seems too big for any of us to make any lasting change, but that’s where I want to challenge you. Yes, the porn industry is a multi-billion dollar industry that seems invincible but that doesn’t mean you’re powerless.
If you have a family, start there. You may not have power to take down OnlyFans, but you do have power over your home. Raise your children with an awareness and sensitivity to the evils of porn; even material that might not be explicitly pornographic. Be cautious of what you watch and what they watch. Be aware of their screens and what they have access to.
Whether you’re married or single, take inventory of your own life. What movies are you filling your heart and mind with? What social platforms are you on? What lustful content has become normal to you? Ask God to give you new eyes to see and a heart that wants to fight this.
One of the alarming realities from the New York Times article is the amount of child pornography that permeates the Internet from children being trafficked into this industry. We need to ask God to show us the log in our own eye and how we may be playing a part in that wicked reality. In other words, has your lack of vigilance in this fight subtlety perpetuated the trafficking of children in the porn industry? It’s a strong word but one we should pause and consider.
I’ll ask again, how much porn are you looking at every day?
1
This was a term coined by Pamela Paul; you can check out her book with the same title.
2
Tripp, Paul David. Sex & Money: Pleasures that Leave You Empty and Grace that Satisfies. p. 20. Note that this has been republished under the title, Sex in a Broken World: How Christ Redeems What Sin Distorts.